Unfortunately, in the modern life not everything is as ideal as it may seem at first sight. Sometimes in the background of seemingly ideal relations there comes a sad moment, when it is necessary to say goodbye to each other and start new lives — separately.
However, how do you do it properly? – Actually, in practice, the choices are really different. Some people choose to make a phone call. Others give preference to a personal meeting. But among people today, there are always those who like to do it by writing a farewell letter. We are sure that you are rather surprised to hear the “old-school” variant, and is it really possible to compose a letter in the 21st century? It certainly is! This option works especially well when it is difficult for you to choose the right words when looking into the person’s eyes.
A farewell letter may deeply hurt someone, however, following the modern psychologists’ points of view, when you are writing something instead of saying it, you are getting an opportunity to fully express yourself. It helps a lot to avoid unpleasant scenes or even the potential of coming back for one another. So when writing a farewell letter you have to follow some steps. Here are the most essential of them.
Start with a draft
If you are writing farewell to a person with whom you have been together for some time, then most likely you are full of different thoughts. Are you sure that your man needs all these ideas and considerations? Well, perhaps. But we are almost sure that he will be tired of them. So what is the solution? We recommend you to start with compiling a draft. Reread the text, then select the most important items and rearrange the letter itself. Remember that you shouldn’t jump from topic to topic, be coherent.
Think about the goal
The thing you have to decide on from the very beginning is what you really want. Are you going to remove this person from your life immediately or perhaps you want to convince him that he is wrong and that the only way for him to return is to change his behavior? If you want to go away forever, tell them why, explain why you don’t want to be with them. Do not forget to thank them for everything good that has happened between you both and finally wish them harmony and success in future relationships. Provoking a conflict is really not a good idea in this situation.
Mind that if your goal is just to change your relationship, then it’s better not to call your letter a farewell one. It would be more successful to start like this: «For a long time I wanted to tell you something really important. However, unfortunately, I don’t know what to start with.” Tell your partner how you exactly feel, but try to do it without any reproaching. Psychologists recommend avoiding using the word “you”. It may force the man to take a so-called defensive position and you won’t achieve your goal. Write about your feelings and about the changes that would make you happier. You see, the phrase: “If you called more often!” sounds offensive. «If we could communicate more often» is much better.
Farewell Note to Beloved if He Has Had an Affair
In this case, the content of your letter depends on whether the man regrets the affair, or is still choosing another lady. Are you ready to forgive him for what he did? Let’s investigate both cases.
Beloved betrayed and stayed with another woman
Under these conditions you do not have time to be thoughtful and say goodbye in an ordinary way. Why not to do it with the help of the farewell letter? However, it’s not recommended to say that you forgive him for cheating on you. Even if it is so, let it be your small secret. Behaving like this, you will cause nothing but additional annoyance.
Instead of it, mention that you have been thinking about the situation carefully, and have already come to the conclusion that everything happened as it should have happened. Let him know that you have been trying to understand everything and don’t want to compete for your feelings and mutual future anymore. Mind that optimism is your hidden trump card. Keep all the insults to yourself. In any case, your goal is to make him understand that you were ready to work on your relationship. However, it was him who decided otherwise.
You want to save relations after the affair
Certainly, in this case, your note cannot be fully called a farewell. However, it is necessary to create a sense of fear in the sense that if he does this again he might lose you forever. Having found out that the man wants to continue the relationship, write him a note asking for a break. Mind that you need this time to think about the situation and make a personal decision. Moreover, mention that you are not going to forget about the event. After a while lay out your expectations and discuss ways to save the relationship together.
Farewell Letter to the Unloved Man
It is not as easy to dismiss someone as it seems. You are going to feel sorry and upset. In this case, everything becomes much more complicated. However, there are two types of farewell letters. In the first one you confess that you don’t love this person anymore, while the second letter is for ‘one-sided love’. Here are the differences.
No longer in love
Unfortunately, sometimes a relationship no longer blooms. As soon as you understand that you haven’t felt deep emotions to your partner in a while, it is time to think whether it is necessary to continue. You can always give this another chance, such as finding a mutual hobby like painting. However, if this doesn’t work out, it would be better to part ways.
There is no need to tell a former partner that he is guilty or that you don’t feel anything. Just remind them that you appreciate the precious times you’ve enjoyed. At the same time, let them know that your feelings have disappeared, and you cannot stay with them anymore, despite the numerous attempts.
However, keep in mind that you can only say this if you are certain about your feelings. If something like this is said, it is very difficult to restart later on as you could’ve deeply hurt the person.
A case of ‘one-sided love’
This typically happens when two people have been friends or soul mates for a long period of time, sharing the same interests. In this case, try to be delicate, remaining confident in your words. The person should know that you are flattered by his admiration but unfortunately, you don’t feel the same. Of course, after this letter, you should be ready to (in most cases) lose the person forever. But perhaps over a course of time, he will change his mind and your relationship will build back up (as friends rather than lovers).